Owned by the Animals

Bunday, Sunny Bunday...

2009-04-07T19:21:00.003-04:00

"Heeey...whatcha doin'?"

"What's this thing you're pointing at me?"

"Is it tasty???"

"I disapprove of photgraphs..."

"...but you may still kiss the paws."

The Many Faces of Calamity Jane, a.k.a. CJ

2009-04-07T18:56:00.005-04:00

The Waffle Ventures Out

2008-11-14T11:07:00.008-05:00

Our cats have long enjoyed going out on our deck, which has all the joys of the outside world without most of the dangers (no stairs=no predators and no kitty access to the streets). Waffle has been quite jealous that all of the other cats get to go out there periodically, but we were holding off on letting her out until we were sure she had no desire to leave. Now she's good to go...and she loves it out there.

Turtle Huddle

2008-10-19T16:35:00.003-04:00

There are fifteen of them,
but you may have to view it full size to see them all:

Kitteh Cuddles

2008-10-04T15:04:00.003-04:00

This was the first time I ever caught these two snuggling.
I hope Skippy wasn't too jealous.

The Waffle

2008-09-27T19:42:00.004-04:00

Recently my parents had to put down our family's fifteen-year-old Rottweiler, Parkway, who I have considered my little brother since I was fourteen.

A few days later, I was driving and I saw a kitten sitting by the side of the road. As I always do when I spot a stray cat or dog, I stopped, rolled down the window and started a one sided conversation with her (yep, I'm crazy--I don't deny it), but for a change, this little cat didn't dart into the woods. Instead she actually approached the car, and when I got out she let me pick her up. She was pretty skinny and had clearly been in a few cat fights in her short life. She had a Manx-tail that looked JUST like Parkway's little stub, a certain sign that I was meant to find this cat, right? Naturally I put her in the car and, accompanied by her slightly nervous singing, drove to the vet's office. I had about an hour to kill before they could see her, so we sat in my car together and bonded. This is her sitting between my feet on the floor of the car, and it's the picture with which I enticed Grace to join me at the vet's office:

The vet pronounced her healthy, though undernourished, and we decided to proceed with the requisite vaccinations. Because of her stubbular tail, we started calling her Stubs, though we knew this was just until her real name presented itself.

When Grace brought her home, she set her up in the "kitty quarantine" room and she got her first taste of kitten food. For three days we thought her belly would burst with the joy (and quantity) of such deliciousness. She also refused to use the litter box for the first couple of days; no accidents—she just held it all in. Now that she's convinced there will always be more food, and understands that the box is supposed to be used, her belly has become much more normally proportioned and she's gaining weight quickly.

She hasn't met any of the other kitties yet, but has seen them lingering in the hallway as we go in and out of her room. Hopefully when she emerges on Friday peace will reign among the felines of the house. CJ seemed a bit jealous at first...

"This is my 'You Suck' face."

...but she has been thoroughly assured that she will always be the princess of the house, with all its concomitant privileges. She seems to be feeling better about it now, and we're sure she will be an excellent big sister.

"I'm trying to be mature about this."

Anyway, after a couple of days pondering the name possibilities, we settled on Waffle. There are three reasons for her name, the first of which is that it’s just a cute word, and she’s a cute cat. (She even has a perfectly heart-shaped nose.)

Secondly, she looks like she has maple syrup drizzled over her back.

The third reason, which is more coincidental than anything else, is that we are in presidential season, when candidates are constantly accused of “Waffling” on their positions. Now we’ll never have to think too hard about what year we found this cutie...

She has been very curious about the camera.

And is quite good at posing...

"Here's my Marlene Dietrich face."

"How about a three-legged pose?"

"or should I do the paw curl?"

"Shall I stick out my tongue?"

She also likes to do a little kitty dance, which is naturally going to be the hottest new dance in all of the clubs. May we present the "Waffle Shuffle":

She is very affectionate, full of personality, and is even good about having her nails clipped—so she can stay. She also has at least one other thing in common with Parkway…she has lethal farts. Lucky for you blogs don't come with a an option for uploading smells.

"Girls don't fart.
I have no idea what you're talking about."

Not sure what was happening here....

2008-09-17T20:21:00.001-04:00

...but whatever Piper's up to,
she clearly disapproves of me photographing it.

So you're going off to college...

2008-08-19T20:31:00.001-04:00

Obviously we know you're brilliant, have loads of common sense and think you are going to have a blast in college...BUT your nieces and nephews wanted to pass on some sage words of advice.

1) You are a beautiful and awesome
person exactly the way you are,

so artificial enhancements just aren't necessary.

2) You're much cuter when you're in a good mood, so...

keep those peevish expressions on reserve for your visits home ;)

3) School can be exhausting and make you positively cross-eyed...

so listen to your body...

and take frequent naps.

4) This is the Internet age
(like you've known it any other way, right?),
so remember anything you do,

no matter how silly or dumb it looks,
could end up online for all to see......

and looking shocked about it won't do you any good.

"I can't believe you just took a picture
of me making that face!
You're not gonna post it are you?
I'm gonna look like such a dumbass."

*5) Aimee has decided she has something to add after all:
Be careful where you leave piles of laundry...
...as they can grow strange things:
...and they're not usually this cute:
"Okay, I said my bit, I can go back to sleep now, 'kay?"

6)We're here to listen anytime.
We love you!
You're gonna have an awesome time!!!

CJ: The Hang Cat

2008-08-16T11:58:00.001-04:00

We're all familiar with the hang-dog expression so common in those of the canine persuasion, but we have here that rara avis, the hang-cat, in all its forlorn and heart-melting glory. May cause uncontrolled urges to grab the nearest kitteh to squeeeeze it and love on it, which may in turn cause injury to the offending human. You've been warned.

Hey! It looks like it's gonna perk up afterall.

Yep, much better.

The Cat Singer

2008-08-16T11:55:00.000-04:00

CJ sings for her favorite piece of string...yes, she has a favorite string.

Foraging for Kitty Snacks

2008-07-12T13:42:00.000-04:00

CJ's film short with a ferocious soundtrack by Heart:

Pigeon-toed Gosling

2008-06-14T21:50:00.000-04:00

Several months ago, most of the campus Canada geese had their babies, but apparently this one was a straggler. He's an only child, and he's quite an intrepid explorer...his parents were quite far off and paying him no mind whatsoever, unlike the other usual hissing (doting, I'm sure) parents I usually come across. And just to make his already adorable fuzziness even more spec-tock-ular (tip o' the nib to CuteOverload.com), he's pigeon toed.

Perfect little bite size drummet, if you ask me ;)

The Frisbee Dog

2008-05-29T21:02:00.000-04:00

Um, excuse me.
Please to be throwing my Frisbee?

It would make my Aussie eyes smile...

I got it. I got it. I got it.

Yeah, I got it. I rock. I'm amazing.

Check out this perfect form...

Doggie Bliss

Thanks, Dad!

I haz a Blowfish

2008-05-29T18:58:00.000-04:00

dear Cari and beatrix,
this iz my favrit new toy. i carry it evrywear and i luv to talk with it in my mouf. my parents said blowfish are danegerus, so i feel extra tuff when i play with it...even tho itz pink and girly. i've been so bizzy playing with it i fergot to thank you befour.

k thanks love lucy

oh and anna likez the moosething 2...but she'z bizzy chasin' frizbeez.

Himself

2008-05-14T17:13:00.000-04:00

Mr. Centerfold

Massively Tiny

2007-11-02T18:24:00.000-04:00

Mutual Exhaustion Apparent

Another Knee for the Bucket

2007-08-16T13:36:00.001-04:00

Lucy the "Lucky Bucket" is going to be a super-bionic doggie after tomorrow, as she will be receiving her second TPLO surgery. (See ~ http://www.vet-vsc.com/surgery_tpl.htm ~ for further explanation of this if interested.)

These aren't Lucy's actual X-rays, but hers look the same.

Her first knee was a success, and we hope that by snowfall she will be romping with Anna again. Yesterday she had a day at the doggie spa so she will be clean and pretty for her invalidity. She loves her beautiful necklace. Anna also got a bath yesterday, but hers was a much less relaxing trip into the shower with me as her attendant. She also got a special necklace so she wouldn't get jealous when Lucy came home.

"Why, yes, we are perfect! Thanks for noticing, Dad!"

"What's that? You want us to smile at the same time?"

"Like THIS? Are we done now?"

"Excuse me. I was perfect for your silly pictures.
Could you puh-lease throw the Frisbee now?"

"Puh-leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaassssse!!!"

"What look? I'm not giving you a look?
What's wrong with this face? Sheesh."

"Okay. Throw it or I'm licking your knee."
(you may need to click for enlargement
to see just how unpleasant a threat this is.)

Perfect Lucky Dog

"You with the camera--I will not be ignored!!!!"

The Missing Guinea (or Missing the Guinea)

2007-08-06T18:18:00.005-04:00

So it seems that Guinea Hens have a reputation for their striking lack of focus and common sense.

"Only don't expect them to be the brightest bird on the block. I still have to open gates for them after they fly over the fence. They forget they can fly back and just run up and down the fence line for hours. I have friends who think that guineas all share one brain cell between them and therefore the more you have the dafter they get. I tend to agree with them."
--from http://www.lynsalmostafarm.com/Guineas/guineas.htm

I have given Gloria a great deal of credit for escaping whatever injured her just prior to her arrival. I also acknowledge, with a good deal of awe, her physical strength in recovering from those injuries, and for demonstrating great physical strength by regularly hoisting her neatly-spotted and weighty posterior into the air for flights around the yard or hikes up and down the roof, decks, and window sills. In a yard oft visited by large dogs, and inhabited permanently by one of the herding variety and another of a houndish sort, she demonstrated a good deal of sense about when to stop gazing at herself in the mirror and fly away.

Apparently Guineas are often silly enough to wander off and get lost, but she has stayed here willingly for four months and been spoiled rotten. Something tells me she was quite happy here: she would run to greet us whenever we pulled up the driveway; she preferred the window ledge of whatever room we occupied; she always got food when she knocked on the window upstairs. Her leaving doesn't feel all that likely to my human brain, but in this case--as smart as I have considered this silly bird who adopted us--I have to hope that she was daft enough to wander off and get lost. I don't like the alternative scenarios. It's a shame she couldn't take her mirror with her.

Anyway, here's hoping that Gloria is somewhere entertaining a new family with her sprinkler imitations, and ridding their gardens of pests. We miss our big funny chicken.

The Owned-by-the-Animals Creedo

2007-07-16T00:29:00.002-04:00

Over the years, I have received this e-mail several times. It never fails to make me feel sheepish, as we do tend to let our fuzzies get away with an awful lot of these antics, particularly the hording of couch space. It is amazing to watch a cat take up more than half of a large sectional sofa. Incidentally, all of our animals are excellent communicators, even the fish: they leap out of the water and pop open the tank lid in Morse code for "feed me now, or the little fish gets it!"

****************

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height (and of course they're smart enough to read it for themselves)

Dear Woggets, Cattages, Rabbitudinous-Buns, etc...

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It
is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but
sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under
the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less (doubtful with Linus around)
2. Don't ask for money all the time (uh, Frisbees don't grow on trees, ya know...)
3 Are easier to train (is there medication for Doggie ADHD?)
4. Normally come when called (except for that selective teenage hearing possessed by all dogs, no matter their age)
5. Never ask to drive the car (actually, Anna asks all the time. She says she's smarter than all of us, and her lack of thumbs is no impediment to her road-skilz)
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends (Um, can anyone say catnip?)
7. Don't smoke or drink (only because we don't trust them with matches or cork screws--Piper seems like a menthol and Merlot kind of girl)
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions (they prefer the state of nature...we humans are the aberrations in their nudist colony)
9. Don't want to wear your clothes (however, Linus likes to sleep with his feet in Grace's sandals)
10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college (...but knee replacements are another story...)

"What!? Tevas are the coolest, man..."

How to bathe a horse...

2007-07-13T21:21:00.000-04:00

The New Looking Glass

2007-07-13T20:32:00.000-04:00

Gloria can now admire herself in super-fancy high-definition round-picture, and she is thrilled:

She spent the first few minutes running back and forth and jumping on and off of her stump to check herself out at all angles...she's decided that since her new cadillacesque mirror was free, it will do nicely. We, her humble and obedient humans, agree.

Gloria's Newest Friend

2007-07-13T14:06:00.000-04:00

This is Big-nose-baby-bun (henceforth BNBB). He lives in the garden by the office window that has become so popular with Gloria and the other wildlife.

"heeeey.....salad bar!"

"mmmm....snackage."

1) BNBB
2) Ubiquitous Squirrel
3) Gloria (blustering over having to share the attention with other critters)
....as you can see, the squirrel is farther away from the camera than BNBB, and he still dwarfs this little bunny.

BNBB taking a dust bath

Let Me IN!!!

2007-06-14T13:53:00.000-04:00

Even the squirrels want to live here...until the cats appear in the window. Watch the right side of the screen for something massive and fluffy.

We didn't detect any foam around his mouth...

Fat Cat: 27lbs of Fluffy Love

2007-05-14T15:36:00.000-04:00

Not long ago we had to give Linus a shave down because he's gotten so huge he can't reach his back end. He's not all that keen on letting us brush him either (I'm sure at least one of us has scars to prove it).

<--This is the face he makes if you approach with a brush. (He's modeling a 'Turtle Fur' Neckwarmer which we were expressly told not to make our cats wear...we couldn't resist rebelling...he wasn't amused) To make up for his lack of self-grooming, he doles it out to the other animals.

Cases
in point:

He decided this statue was his kindred spirit...
Fat & Grey with a smugly content expression on its mug.
He spent hours kissing and cuddling with it
before we took it out to the garden.

This one defies evolutionary logic:
Jasper was no ordinary rabbit. Outside of our domesticated sphere Linus would have given him a run for his life. However, in our house Jasper truly thought he was a cat and would even chase and tussle with the kitties (he usually won--e.g. cat retreating to a rabbit free zone with mad-tail and bruised ego).

Some of them appreciate his
attention more than others:

Linus maintains Skippy in a state of pristine fluffdom.
It's like petting silk; Skippy has never had so much as a snarl in his life. If Linus put half this much effort into his own grooming he'd still be fluffy (note video predates his shaving episode).

Of course, not everyone is as appreciative of his attentions as Skippy:

CJ still doesn't appreciate baths from the Lion, but now she's big enough to kick his butt...he is especially vulnerable to a good butt kicking now that lacks his protective fluff.

Cool Cat

2007-05-14T12:51:00.000-04:00

CJ considers the fridge a portal into "Cold World", the magical land where the cold cuts live. When she hears door open to the blast of iciness she races into the kitchen with her legs slipping in all directions, screeching an atonal Chinese opera-like howl (or is that redundant?). She climbs into the doorway ledge and sings a few more verses. After she gets what she wants (usually, ham), she tries to squeeze under the door. Not sure why this holds more appeal than walking back out and around the way she came, but it's clearly more exciting for her. And even if we don't have anything delicious to give her, she looks beautiful basking in the warm glow of "Cold World"....

L. B. FooFoo, Esq.

2007-04-29T23:28:00.000-04:00

For a true sense of scale, that is a phlox flower behind his ear
(about the size of a dime).

Cleverly hidden under a leaf,
they will never discov.....hey!

Put that back! I'm hiding here!!

I'll help with the gardening next week. . .
I should be almost as big
as the spade by then.

Random Animal Quirks Caught in Pixels

2007-04-28T10:53:00.000-04:00

"I'd like to dedicate this next
song to my Grandmother
in honor of her 70th Birthday!"

"Move over man!
I need at least half of the couch to luxuriate fully."

"Hey, Cat! Can you open this thing...
There's a bag of millet on the table.
Help me out, will ya? I need my fix."

"Hello, little bug. Prepare to meet my stomach!"

"We weren't doing anything...no, I don't look guilty.
Neither does Lucy."

What kind of cat lays like this?
(A 27 pound one, duh!)

"ah...pfth...I tkink I have a hair on my tongue..."

"You're talking about me, aren't you? I heard you!"

"I'm not here. You can't see me.
Please leave a message after the beep."

Happy Birthday from
all of your fuzzy grandkids!

Super Close-up

2007-04-26T21:40:00.000-04:00

A bird this big (well, huge), this close-up, is mightily intimidating, especially given the ferocity of her open beaked seed-lunges. However, I'm sure that just as I consider myself quite brave for holding my ground in such proximity to her pointy nose/mouth and talons, she considers herself extraordinarily courageous for venturing so near to a monstrous humanoid...admittedly I can be quite frightful looking in the morning.

Our little starlet!

How Big is That Guinea in the Window?

2007-04-20T18:52:00.000-04:00

This is Gloria's nightly routine: When it starts to get dark she flies up to our livingroom window to wait for her millet-balls. The cats find this enormously entertaining, and Gloria finds it delicious! Turn up your volume; she's singing her "happy snack" song.

Didn't we just fill the cat food?

2007-04-14T15:41:00.000-04:00

The Truly Self-sufficient Cat:
When eating out of a bowl just isn't adventurous enough

Inter-Species Sparring

2007-04-12T11:32:00.000-04:00

I have no doubt that without a window to separate these two, the cat would have either gotten his butt kicked, or run away with his skinny little tail between his legs without even trying to take on this birdzilla. This round: Gloria:1; Orion: 0 (apologies, the sound doesn't quite sync with the video)

Click Square to Play Video

To my adoring fans...

2007-04-10T21:53:00.000-04:00

Though we are aware that Gloria is charming, we are amazed that she has already found international fans! This is her reply to the following query: "Does she roost in the trees at night?"

Thank you for the opportunity to regale you with more details of my fascinating life! Actually, I prefer to sleep in second floor window sills, or on my balcony, which has no stairs and is about fifteen feet off the ground--I have adopted it as my private luxury suite, and prefer it to trees because even the squirrels don't bother me there. It is also just off of the humans' sleeping quarters, but isn't quite as cramped as their window ledge, and is separate enough to shield me from their snoring.

This morning the humans were late rising, and I fell asleep in the dirt in front of their office window waiting for them to come provide me with breakfast and songs. They made up for their tardiness by introducing me to apples! What ECSTASY! I was still so excited about my breakfast that I was (perhaps) overly emphatic about greeting my friend "Piper of the Window" and she ran away from my knocking--usually she spends the morning sunning with me. Ah, well...I wonder what other magic morsels I haven't discovered yet? Could there be treats tastier than ticks?! Doubtful...

Chicken Head

2007-04-08T22:19:00.000-04:00

When snow came back this weekend to haunt our otherwise pleasant spring, we wondered what our new feathered friend would do--we are not experienced with the ways of the wild Guinea Fowl, and are not yet equipped with all weather bird housing. On Saturday morning, when the snow had accumulated a couple of inches on our tulips, Gloria did come knocking on the office window, but then she disappeared for the rest of the day.

We kept tapping on the windows, which usually brings her running, but to no avail. I was shocked at how quickly I had become attached to this odd little (well, big) bird, and was afraid she had abandoned us for someplace more hospitable to her needs.
When we turned in for the night, we decided to open the window for some fresh air, and were quite startled (screams and jumping and everything) to discover her sitting IN the bedroom window. Obviously the camera was quickly fetched. We fell asleep to the dulcet croonings of our fluffy headed chicken friend.

"Voyeuristic Chickenhead: On the Bedroom Ledge"

Easter brought the warm(ish) weather back, and the featherhead was happily back to her window peeking, bug chasing, and yard digging. Today's discovery: she loves to be serenaded in the highest pitch one can muster. If you stop singing, she bangs the window for more.

The "Glorious Bird" in her window waiting for a song

Happy Hoppin' Easter...

2007-04-08T12:45:00.000-04:00

Need we say more?
in happy memory of our most patient Bunman.

Adventures of a Guinea

2007-04-04T13:27:00.000-04:00

I am the ruler of these gardens!
No one is grander than I!
Each and every flower is under my care and protection...

...and the pink brings out my own natural beauty, yes?

...I even spy on the four-legged fuzzy things in the human-house,
but they think they are spying on me! FOOLS!!!!

I suspect they think that I would be a tasty treat...
as if they could even catch me!

"Mmmmm, that's a mighty big turkey.
Can I catch it, Mom? Dad? Please?!"

***

"Mirror, Mirror, on the tree, Who's a sexier bird than me?!"

2007-04-04T11:12:00.000-04:00

Oh, yeah...I'm a pretty bird.

I could stay here for hours...
Which is my best side?

How 'bout this side?
Admiring oneself works up an appetite!
Time for a tasty snack!

mmmmm....beetles make me thirsty.

...and now for some exercise!
Chicken DANCE!!!

well, now I am exhausted...off to the sleepy spot.

Good Night, Y'all!

As if we didn't have enough....

2007-04-02T11:58:00.000-04:00

We already have six cats, two dogs, two rabbits and more fish than we can accurately count, but now the local wildlife has started adopting us.

from the top left, clockwise: Calamity Jane (CJ); Kirby the Floppy Lop; Skippy the Weird; Orion the Annoying; Anna the Aussie; Flipper & Jaws; Carats; Lucy (with the very cool accessories of grass on her tongue and mud on her nose); Piper a.k.a Stripey Pipes; Aimee (center) and Linus the Fluffy Lion.

Gloria the Spy-->

This is Gloria, the Guinea Fowl, who I ignorantly dubbed a turkey for the first two days she was here. She made her fist appearance while I was out doing yard work by sneaking up from behind and then singing her very silly song...she sounds like an old-fashioned printer.

She is most welcome in our yard as she considers ticks and fleas to be quite delicious. We initially, foolishly, flattered ourselves that she was watching us through the office window, and then we read that these silly birds are reflection obsessed--she was only looking at herself in the window. We have since given her a mirror, where she stands for hours on end preening and admiring her gorgeous self.

Guinea on a Hot Shed Roof

This is what happens when an
Australian Shepard attempts to herd a "Turkey"

check back with this station soon!

In our next episode:
"Mirror, Mirror, on the tree,
who's a sexier bird than me?"

(click on pictures to view larger)